Many hello’s to all far and near.
It is I! The disaster of a human being. I wanted to chit chat a bit, start a bit of a dialogue, which seems to be missed a lot these days. Or maybe this isn’t that platform where one can exchange ideas and thoughts and get a healthy feedback of sorts.
I digress. I will start by saying that I am well, for the most part. I do not yet have a balanced thought process and though I am very much still breathing, most days I feel like I am drowning in my own self. Selfish a bit, but, old habits die hard. I am a ball of knots. Stressed out as usual. I still over think a lot of situations in my head, make them bigger than what they truly are and I still have this insane fear of dealing with a death of a family member.
Crazy I know. My writing has slowly but surely decreased and I find myself caught up in the horrible-iest writers block. Some days I get an idea of what I want to write but I am to busy to stop and jot down the idea that popped up in my head. Which, seems like a lot of writers say that this is a MUST. I…very much fail at such department. Then again, I’ve come to notice that if I am not writing the very truth I do not feel proud of my work.
Writing truths is the hardest thing to do for me, however. I fear judgement. I fear people not seeing my point or at least trying to understand where I am coming from. I guess, in shorter words, the fear of not being accepted. Does it matter though? Don’t we all need to be our fearless self at all times? Throw caution to the wind?! Which I have yet to even catch wind to throw…
I hoped that maybe jotting these type of emotions and spilling them off to the universe and cyber space, somehow, this would liberate me of my mental slavery *props Bob*. So cheers to this, to this emptying of emotions and thoughts and hoping that I can get my groove back.