I Will Always Love You…

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

 

“That’s the thing isn’t it.” I said to him. “What is?” He asked but wasn’t listening really. “That. You say all these things to me, you tell me you love me and you show me wonderful things of life and yet here we are, broken. I am broken up over you and the connection you made me believe we have and you are just there, unapologetic.” I rushed the words out angrily.

He stared at me, tears forming in his eyes. He looked away from me. I was getting frustrated with his silence. I don’t know if the connection, this heart wrenching pain in my chest caused by him and his undecided mind.

“I love you, I do, I just, the timing has always been off hasn’t it. And what can I do? What can I say when there is no reversing time. I can only be happy with you and wish you the best and just move on. Move forward and maybe the timing later on will be just right.” He said it all to calmly, as if the pain in me meant nothing and this night was nothing of great importance.

“How can you be happy? Happy about any of this?!” I cried. I was unmoved with his spoken words. “I am not, don’t say I am when you don’t know how I am feeling inside and it is hard to express it to you.” , “WHY?” He sighed, “Because I am vulnerable and unfiltered with you and I don’t want that, I don’t want you getting close anymore, it scares the living crap out of me.”

“Let me in. Let me in, before I walk away, please.” I begged one last time. He opened the door to his car and he walked out and away. “This will be our song.” He said back at me as I came to notice the music playing in the background. I finally understood the lyrics. And then, in the middle of the darkness and solitude I broke down and wept my heart out. Forever in mind, forever lost to the world.

The Story She Never Told … (Short Story)

 

All alone. That’s what she was. Empty and cold. Her heart withdrew within the deep shallows of her dark places that she had created to save herself from so much pain. She never wanted to let go of him. She wanted to hold him close because he was the light that shown in her darkened world.

After all, he had saved her from herself and she hated to admit the simple fact. Pathetic. She knew he would leave. She knew that he was wild and free, untamed, and held so many haunting memories  that he could never let go of. He was a mess, a chaotic, black whole of a mess. She had loved him either way.

But she always knew you could never hold on to people who always let go. She couldn’t beg him to stay, to realize the errors in his ways, to see how much she had given of herself to him and he just wanted to dream of different worlds and be let lose to harm himself and wait for her to pick up his pieces. He wasn’t fair. She never could let go.

Time Of Our Lives…

This for anybody going through times
Believe me, been there, done that
But everyday above ground is a great day, remember that

I took a lot of things for granted, I took your fiery kisses to mean nothing after a while. I let your hands roam my body just to light a fire that wasn’t there anymore. I think back at the memories of being with you and its bittersweet. Because I wanted to love you, I wanted to give my whole self to you, but timing was never right and we were always on a different platform.

I didn’t know it at the time, but you had a huge load on your shoulders. I was so focused on my pain, my past, my anger and I never noticed how sad your eyes were. How your smile never reached your eyes. How every time you said “I’m great!” you really weren’t. All this time I thought it was I who was dying inside but I never saw my flames consuming you with me.

I’m sorry for burning you alive, for ripping your hope apart and for letting you believe that love with me would be for an eternity. If i’d known what I was doing to you I would of ran and never let you see me again. I’d bandage your wounds and leave you resting for a full recovery. Indeed you recovered happily.

I can see how she makes you happy. I can see how you stare at her, almost how you used to stare at me. I can see how you naturally gravitate towards each other. She laughs out loud and you stop mesmerized at the sound. I wish you the best. I’ll always care no matter what, I’m glad we still kept in touch, then again who but us knows how to read each other?